Never the same…

you feel your chest burning only by the idea that he chose her over you. and you have this constant pain that makes you wish you were dead. Because you loved him with everything you had. You loved him when he was down. You loved him through his pain. you accepted his madness, his scars, his anxiety. you loved him when he was wrong. you cried with him and for him. you’d do anything if he asked you. and you became his cure. you saved him. you raised him up.
but now…now he left you. he forgot everything you both went through for some girl with blue eyes and pretty smile. and you’ll never know what’s wrong with your green eyes.
and you still think that he’s the most amazing thing your eyes have ever seen.
you went through hell because you didn’t want him to walk that road. and maybe now that he is in peace with himself , he wants to let go of his pain, of his past. and he may love you but you’re part of his pain and every time he looks at you, you remind him of everything he needed to pass just to be here where he is now. And it’s more simple for him to begin with a girl who doesn’t know his scars and his tears. With someone who never saw him begging for some love. You gave him all he needed to be fine. but now he needs something more than “fine”. Now he needs freedom. And this is something that you can’t give him if he stays with you. He doesn’t want to remember his self as a died lion. He cares now for his reputation and he wants to feel strong. So he’s better with a girl with pretty smile and hot body,because his body is all he can give her. he will never let his doors opened again.
and now you understand there’s nothing wrong with your big green eyes ,but you also understand that her blue eyes will never see what you saw at him. …

©Fiori Dalipi

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